In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
