He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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