You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
