So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
