The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
