I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
