i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
