i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
