so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
