i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
