im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
