there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
How does one acquire holy water?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
