Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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