I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
