Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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