Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
