my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
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this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
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Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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