Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
