I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize