Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Small penises have feelings too.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Randomize
