Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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