Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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