I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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