Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
