you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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