please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
