girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
