i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
