I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
