sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
