I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
