i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize