Its about making memories worth repressing
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
