Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
