Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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