I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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