i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
