I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
