we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
