I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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