He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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