you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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