I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
