I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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