i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
