You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
