lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
