My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
