Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
