She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
