Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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