Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
