are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
