my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
