Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
