Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
