Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She told me I should be a condom model.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
