if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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