Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
