Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
