he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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