apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
