...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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