absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
