Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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