You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize
