Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
it's like heaven, but drunker
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
