Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
